For my husband, on our Anniversary.

Marriage is hard work sometimes.
If someone tells you it's not, they're a liar...or they're a newlywed.
At some point you're going to want to smack some sense into your partner, you won't, but you'll really want to. You'll argue about stupid stuff. You'll get mad at something they did or didn't do. You'll feel frustration at the words they did or didn't say to you. You will want to scream at the top of your lungs into the night sky because they're driving you flipping crazy. Or maybe thats just me.
Then, you'll want to hug them tight and never let go. You'll want to kiss them and tell them how much you love them. Tears will form as you look into their eyes tell them you never want experience a day in this life without them by your side. You forget about all of the fights and frustrations because that person is the one you choose to share your life with.
Ten years ago I married my husband. I was 17 and he was only four days past his 18th birthday. Two crazy teenagers making a very adult decision. Our families were not thrilled. Our friends were...I don't know. I didn't ask because I am sure I wouldn't have wanted to hear the answer. I know for a fact that many, many people thought we were making a huge mistake and were bound for divorce within a couple of years. I am not passing judgement on those who thought that, I say it because I know I would have had those same thoughts. Regardless, we married on February 4, 2005 four months before our high school graduation.

Since that time we have had good times, bad times, and times somewhere in between. We have moved 9 times, completed a combination of 5 college degrees, and brought 3 children into this world. I think what is unique about our marriage is the fact that we basically grew up together within the bounds of our relationship. We have been asked, individually and on more than one occasion, if we feel like we missed out on our youth because we were married and had kids. Looking back over the last 10 years, I can honestly say the answer is no. Sure there were times we had moments of disappointment or minimal regret, but it always disappeared as quickly as it came. I am grateful that I didn't have to date the wrong guy before I found the right one. I am grateful that I didn't have to live in dorms or an apartment with crappy roommates. We didn't have to go through all the messy parts of finding someone while learning to become an adult. We thrust ourselves into adulthood and just dealt with the messes together.

I will openly admit that it hasn't always been easy. We definitely picked a very difficult path to begin our adulthood. I wouldn't want my own children to choose what we chose. I realize I am kind of rambling here, sorry. The point I am trying to make is this: we did it. We did it and I wouldn't go back and change it for the world. Not just because we have three amazing children together, but because I get to share my life, my every day, with a man who really knows me. The worst parts of me, all of the bad decisions I have made, my stupid jokes, and when I laugh at myself telling those stupid jokes, he accepts it all and loves me unconditionally. I want for everyone what I have with Cole. Someone you can binge watch Netflix with, eat midnight ice cream in bed, rip farts in front of, travel the world with, and build a life of joy and laughter. I am grateful every day that we made that crazy decision 10 years ago, and we have the rest of eternity to make even more crazy decisions. I can't wait to see what the next decade brings for us.
I love you Cole, until the day after forever.

"Let's try this again," she says.

It's been almost 4 years since I posted anything to this blog. 4 Years. Yikes.
The other day I was doing something, probably pretending to fold laundry, when I thought "Hey! Remember when I used to blog about my kids and stuff?" I found it and started looking at all of the cool things I used to post about (cool to me, not you), and wondered why I ever stopped. I don't write in a journal, I should because my memory is total crap, but I don't. I have no excuse. I'm just lazy. I loved going back and reading about all of the little things my kids were saying and doing. It's all of those little things that make parenting bearable sometimes. I don't want to forget those things.
Let's try this again.
So much has been going on with us lately. The best way for me to go about this is break it up. I'll do my best to organize my thoughts and not ramble on and on too much. I'm not promising anything though.
Part 1:
Cole has been part of an intense graduate studies program in Nursing Anesthesia in Miami, FL for the past (almost) 3 years. He graduated December 2014 and this past Friday he took, and passed, the national board exam. He is now a Certified Registered Nurse Anesthetist (CRNA). I feel like I am cheating his experience by reducing it to a couple of sentences. Let me tell you something; this was the most difficult 3 years of our lives so far. It is one of those things that unless you're in it, you don't fully understand. The amount of work, dedication, and time he put in to studying was nothing short of amazing. He missed vacations, school concerts, graduations, funerals, and time with his family in order to successfully complete the program. THEN after he graduated, he spent 12 hour days in the library studying everything he learned over 7 semesters and some things he didn't, in order to pass the boards. Think about that for a moment. I can't even imagine having to learn an insanely difficult field of study and then have to remember every single detail and procedure in order to pass a 170 question test. Um, no thank you. When he called me on Friday to tell me he passed, I could feel the relief through the phone. For Cole, it's like carrying a backpack full of bricks, or in this case anesthesia books, for years and finally being able to set the bag down. Then I came along and lit the bag on fire while doing a happy dance around the ashes. It's over, and it feels oh so good.

I didn't even get to the best part yet: He has an amazing job waiting for him. We have lived a lot of places over the last 10 years: Wyoming, Denver, Nashville, Miami. Our experiences in each place have enriched us as well as taught our kids many valuable life lessons. Miami has been especially educational. We really love it here. The different cultures, the food, our amazing friends!! That being said, it is time to move on. We want a place where our kids can be kids a little longer. We want space, and a garden, and a house we can call our own. We want to live in a smaller city where things don't move quite as fast as they do here in South Florida. All of the things we want for our kids, and for ourselves, we have found in Iowa. No that's not a typo. I said Iowa. Anti-climactic, I know. I was even resistant at first. I didn't want to admit to myself and to Cole that it was the right choice to make. I had never even been to the state of Iowa. What does it have to offer besides corn and...that's it. Corn. Who wants to purposely move there?! But we went anyways. Have you ever known that something was right, you just didn't want to admit it was? Thats how I felt about this.
Cole has an amazing cousin that lives there, and she is a great saleswoman. She showed me all the things the town has to offer, introduced me to teachers at the elementary, and even took me to look at the houses in the area. The more I looked around, the more I could picture us there. I could see my kids riding their bikes safely down the road, and me going to the grocery store on the weekend and actually finding parking! I know it's the right place for us and we are so excited to get on with the next part of our life.